Saturday, January 10, 2009

Life Expectancy

How can the life expectancy in this country be so high if people routinely practice lifestyles that are pretty much designed to kill them?
Smoking, drinking, junk food, drugs, sex, anorexia, carbonated beverages, tattoos, sedentary lifestyles, salt, sugar, Red Bull.
And then there are other things we continually do that kill ourselves in other ways.
Lying, cheating, passing judgment, gossiping, stealing, manipulating, being selfish, being stingy, and sometimes just plain being difficult.

Last night I was standing outside by my car and I could have sworn I heard this ticking noise. It sounded like the second hand on a clock. I kept moving around, stepping quietly in different directions trying to find the origin of this ticking-clicking noise. But every time I took another pink panther step in any direction I couldn't hear it anymore.
I was trying to decide whether or not it was the "beating of his hideous heart!" when I decided that, even better, it was my ticking clock revealing itself to me. It was counting out how much time I had to live.
And while that "new anxiety seized me" I kinda started to spazz out. Because seriously, some day I won't exist. And everything I do now does have an effect on that.

...Have I ever mentioned to you how mortified I am of death?

1 comment:

Wes said...

Nice Poe reference ;)

I realized that one of the reasons I'm attracted to film is that it provides me with a kind of pretentiously artsy immortality. Long after I'm gone people who I'll never meet can still enjoy my achievements. Kind of selfish, I know.

There are times, though, when I worry I'll pass away before I achieve anything. Would I waste my life with creating art when I could have spent it doing other things?