Chirp, chirp, Melora. She was wearing a low cut shirt and pants that were too big. No make up. Big grin that I only see in office buildings. What is that?
Melora worked right next to me. We did the same job. Only she had one half of the country and I had the other. I was Midwest to Coast. Everyone I talked to ended their conversations with 'You betcha!' in an accent I'd come to rather like. Unlike Melora's.
This was my newest foray into adult office life. I was slowly developing a career I didn't want in a field dominated by men who didn't find me attractive. Lately I felt as though I had a better relationship with the printer and its recyclable paper. When it malfunctioned I knew exactly which buttons to push to get it to work for me again.
Melora sat in her office chair and immediately began typing Beethoven's 2nd Symphony. She is an overachiever. I am not. On one of my first days I told Melora that I guessed she could be 26 but was probably wrong. I was very wrong. Melora had to be at least 35, but carefully omitted her age whenever possible. We were not friends.
I was...not 35. Despite finishing college and working as a teacher for several years before becoming Melora's other half I was still under the impression that I had not grown up. And sometimes Melora didn't help.
"I have a friend who works for a publishing company who says she might help me out if I finish a book." I was really excited about it.
"Really? Thats nice." Chirp, chirp. Melora was almost on her way out the door with me. It was 4:57. "What does she publish?"
"Its conservative books mostly. Non-fiction. Which is sort of interesting because she's truly northeastern now and is not really... of that frame of mind if you will."
"That must be tough. To edit books and not really believe in them."
"Yeah, well, the job isn't about believing in the idea, I suppose. Its believing in the book. And anyway, she keeps her personal views out of it."
There was a short pause. One in which I could hear the awkward cracks of something 'smart' about to be said.
"Liberals are always trying to say they keep their personal opinions out of it."
..Seriously, there's a sort of bristle about the air just before something like that is said.
1) What I Wanted To Say: Liberal? Who said anything about someone being liberal? And besides! You're the one who couldn't exactly make it through this conversation without letting me know which "side" you're on! I suppose now you'll sit smugly and smile to yourself about my idiot "liberal" friend who just so happens to be a former valedictorian and now triple major graduate from a school that is very nearly ivy league. ...And by the way, you should turn your god awful country music down. You are not only making my ears bleed, but you lower my IQ 20 points with every sing song reference to pick up trucks and divorcees. I've been thinking about taking up dip, over here.
2) What I Actually Say: "I think that anyone who has an opinion might find it hard to keep it from influencing what they do at work. And what they say to other people."
...I thought my actual comeback was pretty good, and ironically fitting for us both.
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