I've been unusually blunt these last couple of months. And although I may have hurt some feelings by my poorly worded sudden assertions that a few old pseudo-friends must be EJECTED from my life, it had to happen. I am not sorry that I said that.
As the truth of this book-thing is coming to a head, I am fairly certain that I am a much healthier person without:
A) Negativity. Also known as people who criticize and/or hold one back from feeling joy. These people are tricky because they might actually be really nice, if they weren't always trying to get you to be as miserable as they are.
B) Dwelling on the Past: As much as the past is the key to the future, it is important to know that dwelling on it can be the worst thing you can do to yourself. Lives have been ruined when people simply will not let go of something, good or bad, that may have happened 4 or even 24 years ago. Learn from your past, and leave it behind you. Let it lead you to the betterment of yourself. Also in this vein, you are not your past. Who you are tomorrow will be determined mostly by who you are today, in the present, and not who you were last week. People are allowed to change, you know.
C) Romantic Involvement. I have decided to become Salem's witch. I have determined through manymanymany episodes of trial and error, that relationship-JL will eat healthyhappy-JL for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and on a regular basis. That is no one's fault but mine. I am in the process of exploring this. However, right now I just like the idea of worrying about myself, and where I'm going. Not about where myself and Boy-xyz are going. Let me take it from the recent movie (500) Days of Summer:
“Tom Hansen grew up believing that he would never truly be happy unless he found the one. Summer Finn, the girl, does not share this belief. The only thing she loved was her hair…and how easily she could cut it off.”
Myself, and most girls I know, are Tom. Most men are Summer. I have spent most of my romantic life embedding myself into someone so completely that I practically lose my free will, only to be cut off -snip!- when it seems I can no longer be appropriately styled. Now. This is not to say that I have never been a Summer. But I have mostly been a wide variety of Toms.
I am not sorry. Whether I told you off via email, text message, or phone call, I said what I said only because its the truth about how I really feel in all of this. Alot of people spend their lives smoothing things over, and working around issues. I actually hear it can be a very lucrative business. But I just don't think that doing those things, and accomodating, and saying it's okay, we're cool! and swallowing back your feelings really helps you be true to yourself. If somebody hurts you, or insults you, or belittles you, it is not wrong or weak of you to protest. You are NOT insecure, you are being true to your emotions, and if someone wants you to get over it, and seriously does not care that they might have hurt your feelings when they called you slightly overweight, or promiscuous, or emotionally unstable, they NEED to be cut out of your life.
Its such simple advice, and you know it already. Sometimes you just need to be reminded.
So let me repeat.
People who hurt your feelings, even by accident, and don't care are NOT your friends. They do NOT need to be salvaged.
So in closing, if its negative, if its baggage, if its romantic dysfunction: delete, defriend, burn the bridge, do whatever, but get away from it. Clear it out, and breathe in the uncomplicated air.
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